No, I’m not talking about the Hormel tinned “meat” product made from what was formerly known as ham (Shoulder of Pork and Ham). No, I’m not talking about Society for the Publication of American Music, the Space Planning and Management, or the Solar Powered Area Monitor. What the heck am I talking about?
I am talking about the SPAM that you get on your blog in the SPAM box.
No, this sunflower doesn’t’ have anything to do with this post at all. It’s just pretty!
If you look in a dictionary you will find two definitions of SPAM:
- “A tinned meat product made from ham”
- “Inappropriate or irrelevant messages sent via the internet to a large number of users”
“Inappropriate” and “irrelevant” pretty much covers most of it. And most of the time, it is just plain frustrating to see all that SPAM. From time to time I will find a legitimate comment that was routed to the SPAM folder. Aside from that, it is was it is… SPAM. Do they really think we are going to approve their comment with a link to something totally inappropriate and unrelated on all levels? Really? I don’t feel the need to advertise a certain Canadian Pharmacy that is selling certain enhancement drugs for amazingly low prices and I really am not interesting in pursuing the real estate in _______ (fill in the blank with what ever place you want to.)
In my book, there is a third type of SPAM comment – the one that can really lift your spirits and make you feel good (even though it still truly is SPAM!) These people take time out of their busy day to say words of encouragement and send me a link to their website – where I might find such helpful things as real estate, or where to buy gold or silver or even find pharmaceuticals in Canada. And let’s not loose that link to buying plastics on line or a certain special dating service in the Netherlands.
I must say, the encouraging words are so nice to read, but completely make no sense when you look at what post they have comments on…. “you have awesome ideas that you know how to express in so easy way” posted on Sunday Photos: Red! Well, I am glad photos of “red” made sense to you and that you think I know how to “express” it in such and “easy way.”
Not only do we (the wonderful contributors at NDIN) have such awesome ideas, but we get a lot of “thank you’s” and “appreciation” from these Spammers:
- “Thanks to your post I can solve some of my problems, thank you”
- “This is an awesome post, I appreciated it”
- “Thank you for providing us so many information, I always learn something here” (oh, they learned something – now we’re talkin’)
- “I really appreciate coming here everyday to see what’s new on your website, and I already told my friends to do the same” (they told all their friends on that “Special dating “website in the Netherlands that I mentioned earlier! So thoughtful, aren’t they?!
We are motivational, we are hard workers, we have great ideas:
- “You are such a hard worker” – spam comment on my personal blog on this photo post. Yup, it was hard taking a photo of a flower!
- “You have awesome ideas that you know how to express in so easy way” attached to this post on the deer that got into my back yard.
- “I love your posts, but I like this one more than the others, so i read it all over again” – Oh that’s so nice, but it is just photos.
- “Your motivational words are very helpful to me”
It is so nice to know we are being helpful and informative (and intelligent too):
- “I’m going to bookmark you here so I will be able to read at your new articles whenever I want. thanks for helping”
- “A friend recommended your website and I’m glad he did because it is very informative and entertaining”
- “This text is very well written, you must be a really intelligent person, keep up the good work”
Do you think the spammers think that if they are complimentary and nice in the SPAM comments that I will be smiling and think they are so nice that I should just click on their link to see what it is really about? Aahh, NO! The only reason I skim through the comments is to make sure a legitimate comment didn’t get over there by accident.
Has any of the SPAM comments in your box caught your attention before?
Sincerely, Emily
You can see what else I am up to over at Sincerely, Emily. The topics are varied, as I jump around from gardening to sewing to making bread or lotion and many things in between.
Not Dabbling In Normal 
I get these too. They make me smile when such nice words end with ‘and here is my website!” linked to some cigarettes or tobacco site. It’s so relevant to homeschooling and homesteading. 🙂
HI Sarah – It always makes me chuckle about how irrelevant they are.
Funnily enough I get the same appreciative comments. We must both have totally awesome ideas.
That’s it Emily – we both are just full of awesome ideas!
Sheesh and I thought that they were MY special spammers? I love reading my spam before I eject it to float in the ether along with all of the other bampf that tries to inject itself in my online “experience”…You seem to be prone to the very self same spammers that I am! I love the bad spelling and grammar. I revel in their desire to give me EVERYTHING…kudos, the secret to true happiness, an ENORMOUS willy…quite a feat with me being female but never mind that click YES to my comment and find yourself the new owner of some amazing premise. Can’t go past the smell of spam in the morning…so envigorating! I have been known to guffaw out loud predawn and almost spit out my first precious cup of tea. Life is good when we can choose to read them THEN flush them in a most satisfying way. For all of your shortcomings WordPress, and for all of your desire to make my humble little free blog as anonymous as you possibly can I forgive you for your spam syphoning powers ;). Read them and weep with laughter folks for they are hilarious in their efforts to try to con you into clicking “accept comment” and infesting you with bampf 🙂
“can’t go past the smell of spam in the morning” ha
I love how you say your “flush them in the most satisfying way” FLUSH! I will now hear a flushing sound when I delete spam. nice!
Yeh…that most satisfying “SSSHHHHHoomp” sound as they swirl around helplessly in the ether before they are soundlessly evacuated into the void…how incredibly satisfying :).
Hi Emily, You are so funny 🙂
I only once had one that gave me heebie jeebies, with a threatening piece of garbage but then it went on to want me to visit a leather jacket site, so once I decided it wasn’t personal It was OK. I deal with spam by turning off comments on posts older than thirty days. If someone really wants to say something bout an old post they can always leave a comment on a newer post and refer back. I also allow people to comment freely after their first comment where I approve, check they’re for real etc. I hold comments with links though, till I can check they work. I have a page where I explain this on my blog too. By doing this I don’t have to look at the spam folder very often. I scan through if it looks big and just delete the lot. I have only ever found a real person in there a couple of times!
Glad to hear your “heebie jeebie” comment was only spam. How they heck did they think that was good advertizing for selling leather jackets.