Some friends and I were Facebook chatting about the lure of the Homestead.
Self-sufficiency. Pride. Good For The Children.
But then, there’s indoor plumping. Electricity that you don’t have to generate, or understand. Skors bars.
My daughter and I had this conversation as well–how hard it is to live the life that seems appealing when it’s contrary to the mainstream, or makes you stand out. You have to have either strength of character or a certain kind of obliviousness to buck the system.
It came up because she’s met someone she calls a “real hippie.” She says she always thought I was a hippie, but this woman walks the walk, apparently. I’m not quite sure what that means, but it probably has to do with really not tolerating the two Macs (Mac ‘n’ Cheese, and McDonalds) for the children, walking or biking everywhere, and wearing ugly shoes (I think I have the ugly shoes thing going, but I’m a late comer to the don’t-tolerate the junk food).
When I was in college, during one of my brief non-Bill (my husband of more than 30 years) periods, I dated one of those real hippies. Even at the time, I realized that I was making a choice between a truly alternative life and one that would be a little more mainstream.
I’m something of a chameleon, in that I tend to adapt to the prevailing opinions around me. Something to do with low self-esteem, probably, or a dislike of conflict. If I’d stayed with M I’d have been a hippie and a homesteader. With Bill, urban to the core, not so much, although I’ve dragged him a little bit over to that way of thinking. Still, the lure of the homestead, of the self-sufficient, know-how-to-do-stuff, back-to-your-roots lifestyle is extremely appealing. It sounds so simple, so real.
In reality, living off the land or making your living from the land (not at all the same thing) sounds hard. I know this from reading Emily’s trials with the sheep, and Sage’s awful trials with the drought. Of course, city life is hard as well; however comfortable one is in an urban environment, one does constantly watch over one’s shoulder for danger. There’s a lot of noise and trash and people you cannot get a way from.
The big reason that people move out of the mainstream is for the children, but you’re making trade offs there as well. Country kids can Do Stuff. Hammer a nail, milk a cow, wire a lamp. My kids? they can Handle Themselves. When you grow up looking over your shoulder you develop a kind of thick skin that I’ve never seen in more gently raised kids. But I really wish they could Do Stuff. I need someone to build me a new compost bin for my tiny urban homestead (ish).
Conclusion? Life is hard. Choices get made. The homesteader wonders if my grass is greener because I’m putting chemicals on it; I wonder if her grass is greener because of sheep droppings. Neither of us really, in our deepest hearts, wants to walk on whatever it is that is making the grass greener over there.
Not Dabbling In Normal 
That last made me laugh so hard three people peeped into my office to see if I’m ok.
I am about to make that change. Trade in the limitless nail salons and Chinese and pizza delivery options for muck boots and manure. I can’t wait to say goodbye to the horny homeless guy who sexually assaulted me outside a restaurant last December and the guy two streets over who blew up the meth lab in his basement, and the serial rapist who lived at the end of my cross street until he went to prison, and so on. I do know, however, that I am in for limitless hard labor, some boredom, and the anguish of learning how to live without a Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s or, gasp, a Dunkin Donuts within a hundred miles. That part is flat out going to suck and I expect I will take a while to adjust.
The thing is, you need to be where you feel comfortable. I’ve been languishing in the suburbs of Atlanta since 1986 and I just don’t belong here. I’ve finally come to grips with that. We all need to find where we belong, where we feel at home, and that’s what I am going to do. 16 months and counting until our move. It’s the right thing for me.
It sounds to me like you are already where you really want to be. Good for you, Xan. I’ll keep my sheep poo off your lawn if you’ll keep your Tru Green off of mine.
Actually my grass is greener because there’s no grass–it’s all clover. 😉
Nice post Xan. I have experienced both city and country living, currently living in the country. We are not back-to-the -landers or hippies (much) That was for my daughter who would roll her eyes if she was reading over my shoulder.
Both scenarios have positives and negatives and yes, we wanted our kids to experience both. (one loves it and one loves the city) I actually knew more hippy types in the city – a place where you can ride your bike everywhere (though in traffic fumes) and have access to all the co-ops and “greening” life has to offer. It costs a lot to be a new age hippy but it’s all there.
It took a while to find farm stores and the lay of the land out of the city. It is cheaper and better to buy eggs at the farm gate but you have to find them first. There is no map. No one walks anywhere. They go to the gym like in the city unless they are the type that cuts their own firewood and stacks and hauls it and gardens themselves, rather than hires a landscaper – there are both.
I don’t miss Starbucks on every corner. There are a lot easy ways to dispose of cash in the city – all those pretty store windows (look New! Shiny!) and parking your car. You spend the same money in the country but on bigger things like lawn tractors and snow blowers and roto-tillers and the gas to run them. I love the space and the fact that I am not cheek to jowl with a neighbour that makes too much noise just at the times when I want quiet.
The quiet out here is wonderful.
But I like to put on my strappy sandals (not for gravel drives or dirt roads) and hit the pavement once in a while too.
Actually, Xan, you’d be surprised by the country kids here in this very remote place I live–for the most part they hardly know how to do anything on the homestead and their work ethic truly sucks! Sure, they all learn to drive by age 12 and ride horses but that’s about where it ends. Their grandparents have forgotten how to farm–that knowledge seemed to have left around the 50-60’s with the advent of grocery stores and prepared food, no matter how far the drive. Maybe it’s different in other parts of the country.
While urban homesteaders are trying to get their kids interested in growing things, knowing where their food comes from, and experiencing the great outdoors–the flip side is country parents are encouraging their kids to use social media, electronic games, and in general live a softer life (except for school sports and hunting). Only the sons of cedar choppers remain cedar choppers.
The grass is greener on the other side, right?
That’s a post for House of the Blue Lights: parents always telling their kids “why aren’t you more like [name your current favorite kid]” while telling everyone else how fabulous their kids, and their kids’ upbringing is.
My family came across this great lifestyle change almost a year ago. Being in the military for the past 6 yrs and having left the country in GA 10 yrs ago, my children are city-raised for sure. I began to hate the city life though….. always wishing I could go back home to the dirt roads and river-fishing! I finally decided I’d had enough! I got out of the Army in January and bought 10 acres in the middle of nowhere town. My children have taken a little while to adjust. But they all love the people here. Their school is so much nicer than all the schools they went to in the past cities we’ve lived. We are all in general more happy. The kids play outside. We all have been working on the land getting our “homestead” up and running.
The biggest problem I’ve had so far is family and friends putting their 2cents in on everything. Seems like everyone had an opinion…..most think we are crazy! We’ve been without television for 6 months, central heating and air for 2 1/2 months. We have started our rabbitry for meat and our garden for vegetables. Doing everything by hand….no large plowing equipment, just pitch forks, hand tillers, and shovels pretty much! We will be getting some pigs as soon as we can build the fencing. Yes we are all exhausted by days end, but that just helps to ensure so that everyone is too tired to fuss about not having air conditioning. lol.
No I don’t know anything about what I’m doing….but I’m sure I will learn by mistakes. It’s fun and well worth the trouble. Our family is closer and happier. I don’t think I’ll ever take a second glance back at city life!
I describe myself as a conflicted locavore/foodie with both sides fighting all the time. I can be that organic foodie most of the time though. And make mostly real food.
We bought our land for the privacy and the ability to do what we want on it. My yard looks like crap, but who cares. Onion grass, dandelions, violets, clover, whatever. I plant what I want where I want it.
I now am planting chard in front of the house, and squash along the side. No one cares.
I love living in the country, but the McMansions are encroaching. They complain to the health department about the noxious odors in the spring, aka the manure being spread on the fields next to them.
They complain about the farmers being paid to put up cell towers. They don’t want to look at them. If the farmers don’t get that extra income, and sell the farm to developers, I suppose 50-100 more McMansions are more pleasing than a cell tower in the cornfields.
People are strange.
We straddle that line between becoming really green and giving up some things we used to do, and still liking our creature comforts.
What we are happy to see out here are the large number of young farmers. It is heartening to see their enthusiasm. I wish them well, and buy from them as much as I can.