Want to hear a story?
O.k…..2 want to be farmers ask 2 part time farmers if they will drive them to pick up their new pigs. The 2 want to be farmers don’t have a truck or a trailer and they need to borrow the 2 part time farmers small trailer (and in this case the car that pulls it) to go pick up their new pigs. These are the 2 new pigs they are not sure if they will breed or maybe eat: choice to be decided in the future by one of the 2 want to be farmers after he decides if he will like caring for them or not. So….the 2 want to be-s and the 2 part timer-s set off for a long trip high up the mountain and far away. Round the bends and over the many many dales driving many long hours. Long hours through the rain that has been alternately pouring and drizzling down for days. As they drive up to the 2 maybe breeders maybe dinner pigs place —2 brand new farmers come out to greet the others (at this time brand new was an unknown factor in this story). So one of the part timers gets out and asks where the best place to back up the trailer to pick up the 2 maybe breeder maybe dinner pigs. The brand new farmer says “well…I guess right here”. So the 2 part time farmers back up to the guess right here spot (the 2 part time farmers are really good at that part) and get out. That’s when ….Ick!! …. they notice “the smell” With all the drizzle and pouring rain for many days the 2 maybe breeder maybe dinner pigs stink. All the way to piggy heaven! But hey…..no big deal except—oh my and they ARE dirty. (Hmmmm…..the lady part of the part time farmers thinks maybe they should have brought extra shoes). So the 2 part time farmers get the trailer door all squared up to the side of the pen—making an almost chute. On the other side one of the want to be farmer is told by one of the part time farmers to hold a metal piece of roofing (found laying on the ground) to finish the chute for the maybe breeder maybe dinner pigs to follow straight up to the no ramp trailer. ( Hmmmm….the part time farmer wife thinks about the fact that the 2 brand new farmers didn’t tell the part about not having a place or way to load the 2 maybe breeders, maybe dinner pigs). Then while the female part of the part time farmers says “oh I forgot to bring some corn…. do you have any??”…. the brand new farmer stands outside the “chute” and opens the pig door and says….come on. O.k…so the 2 maybe breeder, maybe dinner pigs are very tame and no corn is needed. In the middle of the doorway there is a huge, as big as the whole doorway, water bowl blocking up the works. After a number of attempts to cross this barrier neither of the 2 maybe breeder maybe dinner pigs have made it out yet—though they have tried. However the 2 maybe breeder maybe dinner pigs pig pen is full of mud from all the rain and it is slippery and they can’t jump over the big water bowl without getting hurt. Well….this part confounds the brand new farmer a bit and the female part time farmer has to say politely to him “I think you will have to move the water bowl.” So reluctantly the brand new farmer gingerly steps in to the “chute” area and moves the water bowl —and practically gets run over by the one maybe breeder maybe dinner pig that flies out of the gate and squirts immediately under the very low to the ground trailer with no ramp —-and out the front and into the yard. Ooops. So brand new farmer — the female part— then chases said pig around the front yard until it finally decides that going back to familiarity is the better choice and runs through an opening left just for that opportunity— and back in with its mate. So…..a second attempt is made with brand new farmer still on the outside of the chute area. Yet again the brand new farmer, staying well out of the range (biting range??), allows the same maybe breeder maybe dinner pig to fly back out and squirt back under the trailer with no ramp and back out into the front yard. And again poor maybe breeder maybe dinner pig decides to go back after being chased around by the brand new farmer wife. So…third attempt. Brand new farmer, staying well out of the range, allows out maybe breeder maybe dinner pig for a third attempt and as it ducks to squirt under the trailer with no ramp yet again —-Yeah!! The stronger part time farmer grabs it! Maybe breeder, maybe dinner pig squeals of course. Extremely loudly—to put it mildly. But part time farmer ….trying not to hurt maybe breeder maybe dinner pig—is NOT willing to let it go. Part time farmer then yells at brand new farmer who is just standing there still out of range to “GRAB IT”—-and they lift it into the trailer with no ramp. Whew! One maybe breeder, maybe dinner pig down. However now….. part time farmer is…well a bit dirty. Dirtier than any of the other farmers: want to be, brand new or the other part timer. So…by then… the other maybe breeder maybe dinner pig doesn’t want anything to do with this and decides to hide in the back and not come out. And still the brand new farmer won’t go in to get him (by now it was understood pig number one was a female) and just stands near the door and attempts to call him out. Finally….while the 2 want to be farmers and 2 part time farmers stand there wondering what they should do, since it really isn’t their farm and they don’t feel they should “take over” even though it is obvious brand new farmer has no clue……brand new farmer says “hold on—lets grab some corn”. (Now….didn’t somebody….like maybe the part time farmer wife SAY something about corn earlier in the story???) So…corn is quickly retrieved by brand new farmer wife and maybe breeder maybe dinner pig number 2 gladly….with a slight lift to help get the back end up into the trailer with no ramp…..goes right in… and happily eats corn all the way to the 2 new Farmers home down the mountain and far away. Round the bends and over the many many dales.
Of course the part time farmer who got dirty?….He stunk all the way home.
So let me get this straight: Wife wants to use persuasion (corn); hubby naturally wants to use force. Hubby is not persuaded to change tacks until he is forced to. Hubby is forced to acknowledge persuasion is good idea, but can be neither forced nor persuaded to acknowledge source of brilliant idea. But that’s okay ’cause boor and boar are both dirty and smelly. 😉
Well..since it is confusingly written in a “child hood story” way (which I will address as soon as I finish this comment)– let me give you some hints.
The hubby that has no clue…is not my hubby.
I am part time farmer wife.
My poor part time farmer hubby—the one that stunk all the way home—and the one that would have preferred to use corn — just had to make a choice or we might have been there ALL day chasing pigs.
And you are absolutely correct— a boor and a boar are both dirty and smelly — unfortunately in this case the smell got stuck to the wrong guy hehehehe
Just goes to show you that as a farmer with livestock you should always be prepared and work under the assumption that no one else is of course 😉
ROFL…now that sounded like and adventure! I guessed you were the part-time farmer’s wife and your sweet hubby stunk all the way home and I was right.
Don’t own livestock if you aren’t willing to get messy once in a while is my thought!
Great post, Kim
Too funny! O.k., not for your husband, perhaps.
This is funny and made my day. Reminds me of the first time we tried that stunt. Next time bring an empty 5 gal bucket with you. Calmly walk up to the piggy and slide the bucket over it’s head. Use the handle on the bucket and your other hand to back the piggy up where ever you want it to go. The piggy will be backing up trying to get the bucket off it’s head. Works for me every time with only maybe muddy feet.
Great story, and why don’t some people listen to good suggestions. Corn is a great idea…
But watching the whole thing would have been more fun 🙂
Karyn
Monica, LOL, I feel for your hubby, I have ended up in the same predicament one too many times. Nothing quite like the smell of pig manure… 😉 It never helps with the snickering in the background either!
Inadvertentfarmer….you guessed right 😀
And as I told the “want to be farmers”—never go out of the house expecting to stay clean. Always be prepared to get even your best clothes dirty 🙂
Kristin…Actually even he has had a good laugh over it. Well, with a few choicer words about the original pig owner but still a few laughs.
Lizzylanefarm..Corn is a fabulous idea. And as I told the “want to be” farmers when they got home with their new crew: Always always spend your first few days with your new animals shaking lots of loud corn in a bucket (or can) over and over so they will know exactly what your up to and be willing to follow you anywhere.
Matron…Pig manure does stink (almost like human) and it isn’t fun in a vehicle on a rainy day hehehehe (that’s the snickering part 😀